


Talk to her!

by hazzard



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazzard/pseuds/hazzard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daisy's had enough of Coulson's shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. Ever. Constructive criticism is fine, of course, but please keep this in mind. I'm nervous as hell to publish something I've written. Hope you'll like it tho.
> 
> (Also, Rosalind was still alive when I wrote this. And about that, I'm a Philinda shipper through and through and I didn't like Phil/Rosalind but did they really have to kill her?! ARGH.)

Daisy paced back and forth in front of Coulson's office, trying to gain the courage to knock on his door and say what she needed to say. She knew he wouldn't be happy about it and that it probably wasn't such a good idea, but enough is enough. She needed to say it and, more importantly, Coulson needed to hear it. She had to knock on that door.

For fuck's sake.

\- It's open!

Coulson sounded a little stressed, like he was busy. He probably didn't have time for her rants. But he had told her that the door was open and therefore, basically asked her to come in. So if he was too busy to talk, it was his own damn fault, right?

\- You need to talk to her!

Coulson looked up from the file he'd been reading.

\- Nice to see you too!

He smirked. Yeah, laugh while you still can, you big fool.

She walked up to his desk and slammed her hands on the desk so hard that Coulson almost fell out of his chair.

\- You need to talk to her!

The smirk was long gone, and he looked a little scared now. Served him right.

\- Calm down. What are you talking about? Who am I supposed to talk to?

Really? 

\- MAY!

He quickly got back to reading his file and pretended to be very interested in its contents. Kind of adorable that he thought she'd give up that easily.

\- I know you heard me. You need to talk to May.

He looked a little flustered, but continued to stare into his papers. Really?!

\- Don't you ignore me.

\- I'm not ignoring you. 

Coulson got up to put the files in the cabinet.

\- Really? 

She followed him and stood uncomfortably close. She wouldn't back away, wouldn't let him go. This had gone on long enough.

\- Why are you ignoring May then?

He stopped browsing the files and looked up. He still wouldn't look at her. He just stared into the air for what seemed like forever and looked so sad that she almost (almost) regretted her decision to take this up. 

\- I'm not, I just... I... I can’t.

He took out another file and walked back to his desk and sat down. Cut to more intense file reading.

\- What do you mean 'can’t'? 

She took the extra chair to the front of the desk and sat down, trying, and failing, to get eye contact. Now she started to get really pissed off. What was he even talking about?

\- May's been through so much. She’s hurt and she needs someone to be there. You’re closer to her than anyone else here, possibly anywhere, so that someone has to be you. You need to do this!

\- I can’t. 

Coulson's voice was stern now, his hands holding on to the file for dear life.

\- Don’t take this the wrong way sir, but you’re being an idiot.

He just looked at her.

\- Is it Rosalind? You meet someone and stop caring about your best friend? 

She tried to sound nonchalant, even though she realized as soon as the words left her mouth that she really, really shouldn't have said that.

\- No! 

Coulson stood up from his chair. Now she got the eye contact she'd wanted, but his eyes made a chill go through her veins.

\- Don't you dare say that! I would never stop caring about her!

She believed him. She'd never really questioned it. She only wanted a reaction out of him. It had worked.

\- Besides...

He sat down again, mumbling. 

\- Rosalind isn’t... I mean… we’re not… 

He looked so embarrassed, she had to hold back a laughter. He seemed to notice and got stern again, even though his gaze had softened a bit.

\- She’s got nothing to do with this.

Then what?

\- Then I really don’t understand why you don’t help May when she so clearly desperately needs you.

\- She doesn’t need me. 

Coulson went back to his papers, but she saw his hands tremble and heard the crack in his voice. It broke her heart.

\- YES she does! Of course she needs you! 

Why was he being such an idiot right now?

\- There’s no one else she’s gonna talk to and you know it! WHY WON’T YOU BE THERE FOR HER?

She was upset now, she could feel the irritation bubbling, trying desperately to get out.

\- I CAN’T. I just can’t, ok?

She wouldn't give up. She wanted, needed, to know.

\- Why?

Coulson threw an angry look her way.

\- This conversation is over. I’ve got work to do, Daisy. 

He pointed at the door. 

She pretended she didn't understand what he meant. He looked so mad. Don't give up, don't give up.

\- I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

Nope. She crossed her arms and stared at him. She wasn't bulging. Nope.

\- Not before you tell me why.

He stared back, now clearly pissed off. Then he went back to his file again, avoiding her eyes. Trying a different tactic? Wasn't gonna work. Maybe he understood that, because after she'd cleared her throat (loudly) a couple of times, he looked at her again.

\- It’s none of your business.

Oh for fuck's sake.

\- Maybe not, but May’s hurt and I can’t watch that. 

She was officially pissed off now, and she hoped he noticed.

\- And you think I can?

Coulson almost looked hurt. She had to keep pushing.

\- Apparently, since you’re not doing anything to stop it!

\- I…

\- I swear, if you say 'I can’t' one more time I’m gonna scream! There’s no reason! You’re being such a jerk!

No holding back now. But he was mad. Oh, he was mad. 

\- I’m your boss. I’d be careful if I were you.

\- You’re not gonna fire me. I could blow up this whole building in 3 seconds. You wouldn’t take that risk.

Coulson smiled at that, but was still tense. 

\- But seriously, why won’t you talk to her?

He didn't answer, just stared down at his papers, for what seemed like hours. The smile was long gone.

\- Bahrain.

His voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

\- …What?

He looked up, clearly trying to sound and look unfazed, like he was in control. But she saw right through it, anyone would. Damn, she just wanted to hug him.

\- It’s Bahrain again. I won’t make the same mistakes again. I’m not gonna lose her. She just got back. I want her to stay this time, for good. I’m not gonna lose her.

His voice was stern, very matter of factly. His body language matched his voice, but his eyes... his eyes... 

\- What does Bahrain have to do with anything?

He put his head in his hands and stayed there, for a couple of seconds, just breathing. Then he seemingly got himself together because he looked up and started talking again. But his eyes... his eyes...

\- I tried so hard to help her then. I wouldn’t stop trying to get her to talk, process it, make her understand that it wasn’t her fault… But nothing worked, she wasn’t the same and she didn’t go back to who she was before. She transferred, I still called. Every day. She answered but was quiet, distant... I finally began to get the clue and cut down my phone calls, first to two or three per week, then one, then two per month, then one… Eventually I just stopped.

\- Why? 

\- She didn’t want me to call. She needed space. Just as she does right now.

He looked so sad, he had to believe what he was saying. But how could he possibly believe that? That May didn't want him around? If there was something Daisy knew, it was that Coulson and May were close, very close, sometimes freakishly so. So of course May wanted him there if she was hurt, right?

\- Did she ask you take a step back?

Coulson shook his head and smiled, a sad smile that somehow hurt her more than his 'brokenhearted' look.

\- No. But she’s so sweet, she’d never say something like that out loud. But I knew. She was better off without me. She’s better off without me now too. She doesn’t want me there.

Was he serious?!

\- Of course she does!

He shook his head, very firmly.

\- No, Daisy. I can’t risk losing her, not when she’s finally here again. I need her to be here. I won’t risk it.

She knew Coulson could be stupid when it came to May, but this?!

\- I understand that you don’t want to lose her, 'cause duh, no one wants to lose the person they love, but I still think you should talk to her, I think she needs someone to…

\- What did you say?

He stared at her, with a dumbfounded look on his face.

\- That you really should talk to her?

She acted dumb. She wanted to make him squirm a little. 

He shook his head violently, still staring at her in complete disbelief.

\- No, before that?

She had to smile. Couslon looked absolutely shocked.

\- No one wants to lose the one they love?

He stared at her a couple of seconds more, then he looked away and got up and walked to the cabinet with the almost untouched files, his hands and voice trembling.

\- What are you… I mean we’re not… I’m not… We’re just friends…

He put the files in the cabinet and walked back to his desk and sat down, clearly trying desperately to regain control.

\- Are you sure?

She felt almost mean for continuing to tease him, but damn, this was funny. And it was about time he got some clue about the situation.

\- No… I mean yes, yes of course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be sure…

He was babbling. She was trying so hard not to laugh.

\- ‘Cause you love her.

The dumbfounded stare was back.

\- Excuse me?

\- Yeah, you’re in love with her.

He shook his head again, like he was trying to convince himself of something.

\- This is really inappropriate, Daisy.

He hadn't even tried to deny it.

\- So I’m right? I’m right aren’t I?

He looked so uncomfortable.

-I’m not gonna talk about this.

SHE KNEW IT!!!

\- So I am right! I knew it! 

She jumped up and down in the chair of excitement. 

\- Daisy… 

\- Wow, this is huge, I always suspected but I didn’t… Wow this is awesome… I can’t believe this… Amazing… Why haven’t you told her? You haven’t told her, have you? Oh it’s gonna be so romantic… 

Now it was her turn to babble. 

\- Daisy, stop. 

Coulson looked at her with his 'I'm-your-boss-so-you-better-do-as-I-say' eyes. She was too excited to care.

\- How are you gonna tell her? You should plan it, so you don’t screw it up… No offense, but you can be kinda awkward… 

\- Daisy! 

He yelled and slammed his hands on the desk to shut her up. It worked. For a couple of seconds.

\- I'm sorry but it’s true. But as long as you plan it out, it won't be awkward at all, I promise...

Coulson groaned in frustration.

\- No, not that. I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. 

He pointed at the door again. Nah, she wasn't leaving.

\- Why? You afraid she’ll hear us? You wouldn’t have to be if you just told her. 

He avoided her eyes and took some files from the pile to his right and began to shuffle through them. He was really annoyed with her now, she could tell by the way he was handling those files. 

\- Leave it alone, please. 

She wouldn't. Not when she'd gotten this far.

\- Not until you promise to tell her. 

He still wouldn't look her in the eye, but she began to feel sorry for those files.

\- Why won’t you tell her? 

That was the last straw. He stood up, lividly, and she almost flew out of her chair.

\- BECAUSE…. IT DOESN’T MATTER, OK? 

He yelled in her face and threw his hands up of frustration.

\- I DON’T… 

The anger suddenly completely vanished and he sat down again and buried his face in his hands, his voice thin and shaky.

\- Oh god Daisy you have no idea… How much I’ve wanted to… Every day for so long, I’ve wanted to, wanted so much, I… 

He managed to steady his voice and looked up.

\- But it doesn’t matter. 

Their roles were completely reversed, now SHE stared at HIM in complete disbelief.

\- How can you say that?! Of course it matters! 

He shook his head again. Oh, he drove her crazy.

\- No. I can’t put that on her. I’ve screwed up her life enough already. She’s happier if she doesn’t know. 

He sounded completely brokenhearted. WHY WAS HE BEING SO STUPID?!

\- But… 

\- Enough. 

Coulson had gotten back his 'authoritarian boss voice'. It scared her a little, but not enough to let this go.

\- But… 

\- End of discussion. 

Like hell it was.

\- But May lov… 

\- I'm serious. Don't test me.

He looked serious. If she didn't want to die, or worse, get fired, she had to give in. 

\- Ok, fine.

She threw her hand up in defeat and got up and started walking out the door, but did so with an attitude, so Coulson would understand just how mad she was. Just when she was about to walk out the door, she turned her head to look at him.

\- But we're not done talking about this!


	2. If only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'what if's' is what hurt the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk wtf this is. This wasn't supposed to be so angsty. Or short. I have no idea where this story is going, or IF it's going anywhere. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway, and that it'll break your heart, just a little bit.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for your support!

They were done. None of it mattered anymore.

Of course he loved Melinda. He loved her so much, it hurt. He'd loved her since... it seemed like forever. And fuck, he couldn't... he couldn't love her. He'd tried to love her, tried to be her friend and secretly love her, but it didn't work. His heart couldn't take it anymore. He had to stop loving her. He had to. If he wanted to survive, he had to.

But... Melinda got hurt when he tried to keep his distance. Of course she did, they were friends. Friends are supposed to not keep any distance. Or, yes, that was the problem, actually: friends were supposed to be close, but still keep some distance. He couldn't keep that friendly distance. If he had something, he wanted everything. He wanted all of her. He loved her.

And damn, if he didn't wish things were different. If only their lives were more normal, if only she hadn't married Andrew, if only he hadn't met Audrey, if only Bahrain hadn't happened, if only he hadn't died... Then maybe they could've... But the maybe's hurt, he didn't want to, couldn't, think of the maybe's. And he couldn't help dreaming of her beautiful smile, that beautiful but rare smile that only came around so often, but when it did... He went insane just thinking about it. He couldn't stop staring at her, couldn't stop thinking about her silky hair, her long legs, her ass, her smell... He couldn't keep the images of her naked body out of his mind, couldn't focus on anything besides her, his heart simultaneously blossoming and breaking with every touch, every look... And he loved her. He loved her.

He'd liked Rosalind. He'd gotten a crush on her, he'd grown to care for her... and then, she'd died. She'd died, in his arms, and maybe he hadn't loved her like he loved Melinda but he'd cared about her, he'd let himself get close, he'd let his walls down and she'd died. And Melinda had tried to be there, even if he'd been an awful friend, she'd been there for him. He felt horrible, just horrible, about everything that had happened. He just wanted to cry. He wanted to lie in his best friends arms and cry. But he couldn't, because he loved her. Why did he have to love her? 

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It seemed like they were done, like their friendship was over. Like everything they'd been through didn't matter anymore.

She loved Phil. Of course she loved him. She'd loved him for years. And she shouldn't love him. It hurt too much. She couldn't take it, loving him destroyed her, it always had. She had to stop loving him, she knew that if she wanted to keep her sanity, stopping was her only choice. But she'd loved him half his life, and she just didn't know how. 

And she knew she shouldn't let herself get that close, not when he didn't love her. But he needed her, and she was there for him. Of course she was, they were friends. Friends are supposed to be there for each other. She wanted so much more than a friendship. She wanted everything. She loved him.

And damn, if she didn't wish things were different. If they weren't so screwed up, if she hadn't lied to him about Tahiti, if he hadn't died, if Bahrain hadn't happened, if she'd never married Andrew, if he hadn't loved Audrey... The 'what if's' hurt the most. What if things were different, maybe he'd be hers. She kept dreaming about him, his kind eyes, his sexy smirk, his smell, his strong arms, his chest, his naked body... And his special way of looking at her, like she was the only one that mattered. He hadn't looked at her like that in a long time. She was desperate for that look, or a touch, or anything... She knew it wouldn't just make her happier than anything else, it would also broke her. But she still wanted it, needed it, desperately. She loved him.

She'd loved Andrew. She'd completely fallen for him, and she remembered she'd thought "Thank god I'm finally over my stupid crush on my best friend". She'd let him so close, he became the most important thing to her... And he left, but then he came back, and damn, if she didn't fall for him again. She loved Phil, she always loved Phil, but she couldn't have him, and Andrew was nice, he was safe, she knew were she had him, knew what their relationship were. But then, Lash... The inhumans... He wasn't Andrew anymore. She'd lost him again. And she wanted to cry, wanted Phil to be there, to comfort her, but he wasn't. He knew she needed him and he wasn't there. She'd lost her best friend too. The best friend she'd never gotten over, never stopped loving. She still loved him. Why did she have to love him?


End file.
